Davison's Doodle

Interesting Questions About Parenting

I’ve been participating in Christian ministry with children and youth since 1985.  Those first years I was a college student and then seminarian on a journey to the vocation of ordained ministry.  I’ve reached an age when those that were once in the youth group, as youth, are now adults having their own children.  I’ve served congregations in six states, my expression of Christian witness calls them Regions, and a question I’m often asked is, “Do you have children of your own?”  The answer is no.  My companion and I are childless by choice, but it does not mean that I don’t know something about parenting and how to parent.  We who serve in youth ministry are often called on to be mirrors for parents and I’m convinced that the cutting edge of ministry with children and youth will be focused on the parents rather than on the children and youth themselves.  As youth ministry circles back to a relational model, back to intentional theological reflection, back to a spirituality based in practice, it is necessary to help parents learn effective parenting skills and this includes a comfort with their own questions and answers about Christian faith.  It is how what we do at youth group or children’s church will be “sticky” in the lives of the Church, young and older.  Here is a good reflection on parenting from a blog called, “in the Meantime.”

Who Shovels Your Kids’ Rink?
by DJL | March 5, 2012

Helicopter parents. We’ve been hearing about them for a few years now. These are the parents that “swoop in” – hence the name – to check in on, and take care of, their kids even after they go to college and, more recently, enter the workforce. They have become the new norm for colleges to contend with – checking up on their kids’ food, dorm conditions, performance, and more. Indeed, the term “in loco parentis” (Latin for “in the place of parents”) seems all but obsolete as part of the description of college officials, as the parents never seem to be absent for long. Except that by and large these parents aren’t there check in to see if their kids are making a good transition to independent life or working hard enough to make good grades, but rather to see if they’re being treated well. Administrators have reported the incessant pressure for better food, dorm facilities, and social opportunities coming not from students but from their parents. And some of my colleagues teaching at colleges have even told me stories of irate parents calling them to challenge grades they’ve assigned.

When do kids ever learn to do anything for themselves?”  It’s a great question. I have to admit that I spend a lot more time carting my kids around to various activities than my parents ever dreamed of doing.