Category: Culture
A Letter to Graduates
“It is unimaginably hard to do this—to live consciously, adultly, day in and day out.”(1)
This is the time of: end of semester tests, parties, invitations, measurements, proms, formals, special recognitions, special meals, gifts, cards, crowded schedules, and advice. Covid-19 (coronavirus) has changed, well, all of that and more. Little feels “normal.” The meaning of the rituals that mark the passage from one phase of life to another remains important. Drilling down on that core meaning is not as easy as we think, but we don’t have to make it harder than it already is for you. Graduates, yours is an experience no one wants for you; and we don’t want for us. Forgive me if I minimize your reality trying to protect you from the pain or make myself feel better because you are missing the rituals around graduation.
Many people relive their memories, embellished as happens through years of living, as we celebrate your achievement. Forgive me when my nostalgia overshadows your reality.
Some people you know, maybe one particular person, has invested in you and repaid a debt from long ago. Others are following an example set by someone who invested in them at your age. I’ve got a debt or two. I’m following an example set for me. I’m trusting you to give me, and the rest of us, a cue about the best way to honor your experience and achievement without the usual trappings of the graduation ritual. What would be meaningful to you? I’ve noticed you helping adults deal with our grief about your situation through your occasional Facebook post and Instagram smile. “Ah, it’s ok. I understand why it has to be this way. Sure, it’s disappointing, but I’m ok with it.” Graduates, you are setting an example for those older than you and younger than you.
Thank you for helping the world adjust to technology that connects. It has been part of your entire life. Your ability to form relationships, meaningful connections to others, using texting, snapping, and other portals is making this time more accessible for you. And, it is helping older adults discover a whole new world. Given all the required screen time that you have now, I don’t know if those apps are still an experience of subversive independence, but like generations before, you found a way to have your own space.
As you move through adult life, there will be many things you want to believe, or need to believe, to navigate this territory without a GPS enhanced map. The people that stood alongside you to this point are invested in the adult you will become, but the hard work is yours to do. To borrow from Yoda, “Remember what you have learned. Save you it can.” What has always been true, but feels more so now, is that you need a good, working moral compass for life. Missteps, mishaps, and mistakes will be made. Failure is one of the best teachers. During the journey through life you will need to recalibrate your moral compass. Sometimes more often than you think. Be sure the tools you use are made for your moral compass and not something else. Stay in touch with your experience of faith and religious beliefs. Proclaiming faith in Jesus is easy. Practicing Jesus’ way can lead to Truth about living, and give meaning to your life. But, Jesus’ way will set you against or apart from culture, friends, and family during life. So, what would Jesus do?
Finally, a pithy quote from a one of my favorite movies. If nothing else, remember these words, edited for inclusivity, from Hub McCann.
“Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things that a person needs to believe in the most: that people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; that love, true love, never dies… No matter if they’re true or not, a person should believe in those things because those are the things worth believing in.”(2)
The world is waiting to see what you do. Make us proud (no pressure).
Stay centered.
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Notes
1. David Foster Wallace, This is Water: Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life. Little, Brown and Company (New York) 2009.
2. Tim McCanlies, “Secondhand Lions.” New Line Cinema 2003.
Character
I don’t base my opinion of a politician on whether or not like or dislike him or her. I’m a registered independent voter. Both Democrats and Republicans can do good things and bad things in their attempt to govern while balancing their ideological commitments, responding to lobbyists, and the public. I listen. I can respect your handling of an issue or crisis even if I don’t like you or disagree with your position. Natural leaders, lead. The inner moral compass about the common good kicks in and the ego fades away. The good ones I’ve witnessed don’t need to be complimented for leading. They accept that some will throw tomatoes and some will applaud. Even those who are politicians don’t often seek out the spotlight. It has been said that a person’s real character is displayed during times of crisis. My experience of life persuades me to think that statement is true.
When I think of President Trump’s character and that of those closely connected to him, what comes to mind is a scene from the 1997 film, “Titanic.” With the ship sinking, Rose, her mother Ruth, fiancé Cal, and Molly Brown have a moment waiting to board a lifeboat. Cal’s response to, “half the people on this ship are going to die” is the depth of President Trump’s character that I’ve witnessed.
The current President of these United States is running the Federal government like a caricature of a crime family. In this COVID-19 crisis, the President is behaving like the caricature of a boss who doesn’t care what the underbosses are doing in their State as long as he gets his cut and his compliment. The President’s character is a mix of De Niro’s portrayal of Al Capone in “The Untouchables” and Nicholson’s, Col. Jessep, in “A Few Good Men.” Exchanges with the media are like watching the pivotal scene from “A Few Good Men.” Like Col. Jessep, the President expects a thank you, no matter how he does his job and despises being questioned. The problem for Americans, the Senate didn’t have the character of the military court. Actually, it enables the failings of the President.
I don’t think this is just an opinion. The evidence of the President’s behavior, much of it accessible via video since his inauguration and before, bares out the fact of a brief argument about his leadership and character.
1. The President expects to be complimented for his every breath and he cannot handle criticism, constructive or other.
2. He over promises, blames others for his failures, and thinks of himself first before the country. If what his supporters, Cabinet members, or life long public servants do effects his perception of status, he turns on them. The list of former staff members and “acting” staff is the debris of a Presidency built on salesmanship, graft, and transactional leadership.
3. The President has used those that voted for him and they have used him. Senator McConnell held open a SCOTUS seat and it paid off. The Federal bench has been altered for a generation or more which is what Vice President Pence, Ralph Reed, Jerry Falwell Jr, and others like them traded for the Presidents grab of power and dollars. The tax cuts, deregulation, and intentional sparse governance enables the President to hide his misdeeds wagering, rightly so far, that he will not be accountable to anyone but himself.
4. This President has profited from the Office of the Presidency while holding the Office of the Presidency. He has lived out his own words, “to the victor go the spoils.”
5. Everything with the President is me and mine. The Grand Old Party has gone along. Visual evidence indicates that Senators like Rubio and Graham value their position and GOP power more than their character or moral compass. If our culture were still based in honor, their family names would be dishonored for years to come as would countless GOP State and Federal representatives who have taken the position, “our President right or wrong.” What fuels their fealty to the President: fear, power, money? What?
Here in the midst of the Covid-19 crisis, a lot of people are going to die. The crime family caricature of leadership is driving up the cost of needed items and it appears at the moment that fealty, or cash, determines who gets needed supplies. Before it is over, many of the supporters of the President are going to find out they are not part of “the better half,” though he has relied on that other half to enrich his family and shield him from accountability for diminishing the Nation’s character and using the Government for personal profit. And, this acting character affects everyone in the orbit of the President. Life long public servants are giving their last full measure of devotion to this country during this crisis of character Presidency. While the President demonstrates his lack of empathy, his self pity, and his self-professed “greatness,” he will give the public a show and someone else to blame for problems and deaths. It is what arrogant incompetence looks like. The President lacks the humility to hold the Office of the President. A minority of voters didn’t care.
We were raised better than this. Remember.