Category: Sabbatical
Life-long Wrestling
Earlier this month, I had the honor of introducing a mentor in ministry who received a distinguished minister award from the Alumni Council at Brite Divinity School. A part of my introduction included reflecting on conversations about the education offered at Brite that I’ve had with colleagues from my seminary days, with elders in ministry, and those post early 1990’s. From my introduction:
I give thanks for the generalist education that teaches students to exegete their context as well as the bible. The foundation for ministry that Brite provides through the study of scripture, theology, pastoral care, ethics, and knowing oneself, helps students develop the basic moves necessary for a life-long wrestling match with God, with the Church and all God’s people.
I don’t know if Brite intended to offer an education that created an exegetical foundation of gifted generalist, but I learned some moves that have helped me when I’ve had to wrestle or wanted to wrestle. The first is clarity. Be clear about your baggage and your weakness (growing edges). Trust your skill set and work on your skill set. Always reflect on your call to ministry.
The Church, like it or not, is an Institution. I have a love/hate relationship with the Church.
Christian ministry, in its best moments, is relational. So, listen more than you speak, and speak more often through what you do than what you say.
Prepare. Make room for God’s spirit in your preparation so that in the performance of ministry you can be present, awake, and adaptable.
Be authentic, but respect where you meet people on their journey with God. You may need to use words that helps a person hear the good news in their language that doesn’t completely compromise your theology or experience of the good news of God.
Find a hobby, activity, or discipline that puts change into your pocket. When I was at Brite students went through mid-program review. It was an opportunity to reflect on your journey in seminary, work in congregational life, and how you were growing theologically. It was the first step in putting together the words that would become the student’s theology of ministry. It was a communal experience. Four or five students reading each other’s work, one of the seminary professors assigned to the cohort, and lots of conversation. In front of my peers, Dr. Craven, noted that I could be as authentic as my theology of ministry was at that time, but that I would most likely either never serve in ministry or I would serve for a very short time. “Mr. Davison, there will be times that you will have to be willing to give away the change in my pocket to the Church. You will have to put a quarter or more on the table. You’ve got to find a way to be comfortable with that because the Church is not going to change the way you want it to or think it should in your lifetime. Your pocket change is limited so make good choices and remember to find ways to put a quarter back in your pocket.”
The life-ling wrestling match continues.
Never cut what you can untie
The shortest of the books on my reading list for my sabbatical seasons is From Father to Son by Allen Appel (1993). My father gave me this book in December 1993, and with apologies to Pop, I just now read it all the way through. From Father to Son, shares wisdom solicited from different men that their father’s passed to them while growing up that the author curated into this little book. It is a book helping him grieve his father’s death and celebrate his life as well. Maybe that is why I couldn’t read it until now. The awareness is always there, life is fragile and short. My companion’s melanoma was caught early and treated. Remember your sunscreen! My father’s quadruple bypass surgery was successful following a heart cath. When it comes to health situations, my immediate family has been fortunate to have few issues thus far. I live in the southern midwest where it seems cancer of all kinds is everywhere. (Alert: snarky aside. But hey, let’s keep pumping fracking water back into the earth. Cancer, like oil and natural gas, has been around a long, long time. It’s just the cost of doing business.)
My mother pronounced at Thanksgiving dinner some time ago that “you never stop parenting no matter how old your kids get”. Given the helicopter nature of parents today that statement is more true now than for previous generations. Serving in youth ministry, I’ve witnessed my share of healthy and unhealthy parental relationships with their children. I haven’t done the research, but I imagine there is are similar books or (blogs) that share wisdom from mother to daughter. I wonder what my sister knows?
The afternoon I left for college, my mother made sure I knew how to iron a shirt. “Do it like this. Now you try. Remember, you can do the whole thing or if you are wearing a jacket, you can only iron what people will see.” My mother’s advice to me as I am leaving for college. “Your dad and I raised you right. We did our part. You do your part. We love you. Don’t do something to embarrass the family”. And my father’s words, that I’ve shared with parents from time to time during youth ministry. “Congratulations. You are going to college. We are proud of you. Always come home and visit, but don’t come home to live for any length of time. Call us if you need help”.
Here are a few of my favorites from the book that remain relevant today. And remember, the masculine language is quoted advice given from a father to a son. These could just as easily be read, “person”.
Never cut what you can untie.
Honesty without charity is mistaking the idol for the God.
Don’t trust a man that will lie for you. He’ll just as easily lie to you.
It doesn’t hurt to pray for miracles, but I wouldn’t waste much time on it.
Save prayers for thank-you’s.
What a braggart goes on about having the most of is usually just those areas where he is most deficient.
Don’t be so positive of your own morality.
Eating human flesh is a virtue in cannibal country.
Don’t judge a man’s character by the size of the Bible he carries.
You’ll be amazed at how many people can have absolutely ridiculous or immoral beliefs and still get through the day without any problems. Don’t try to enlighten them, they’re doing fine without your help.