25
The captain of our vessel said, “The most valuable thing we have is time. Thank you for spending your time with us.” How do we mark time? Here on the ship time is marked by meals, conversations, photos, drinks, excursions, and by time spent in the sun. Time is valuable, precious, shared, and always evolving. Time is speed and distance, day and night, sometimes moving too slowly or too quickly. Time is traded. Time is unsustainable. We have the time we have, some say, measured by what we have done and left undone. Time is wishful thinking, daydreaming, remorse-filled, and forgiven. The sea seems timeless, unbound by places to be, things to do, deadlines. The sea is anticipation about what’s beyond the horizon and the horizon always stretches out to meet the sky even when land is near.
Talking over dinner last week while we were on holiday, I told my companion that I was writing about the twenty-five significant moments or experiences of our first twenty-five years of marriage. We chatted about some of the moments we each thought would make that list. Should there be an order or a random accounting of the time and space we’ve shared? I don’t have a good answer. I wonder what my parents would have on their list having shared fifty-one anniversaries together so far? What would Lisa’s mom say were significant moments of their marriage before Barnie became ill and shuffled off his mortal coil for time eternal? Gravestones mark time for strangers and remind loved ones, friends, how long eternity is. To borrow from Rent, how do you measure a year?
25 over 25 years of companionship.
- Agreeing to mature together during life.
- Lisa decides to do PhD work at Vanderbilt.
- Our first vacation. Michael wanted to wake up early and see things. Lisa wanted to sleep late and lay on the beach.
- Lisa’s PhD celebration in the first home we ever owned.
- A year in Canton, MO.
- Lisa called to Lexington Theological Seminary for her first full-time teaching position.
- Two weeks in Israel on an Lexington Theological Seminary study trip.
- Watching Lisa rolled away for gall bladder surgery and seeing her in recovery.
- The drive from Lexington to Radford when we learned Lisa’s dad was dying.
- The time we almost split up in that first five years of companionship.
- We decide not to have children.
- New Year’s in Jamaica.
- In Lexington we both have work in the same town that we want to be doing.
- A year in Lynchburg, VA
- Learning how to be a “clergy couple” the first ten years after seminary.
- Lisa’s mom’s first bout with cancer.
- Lisa’s father’s alzheimer’s, liver cancer, and death.
- Mike & Yvonne’s renewal of vows ceremony at 40 years of marriage.
- Lisa called to Phillips Theological Seminary and accepts an endowed chair teaching position.
- Michael joining Regional staff.
- Lisa’s Fibromyalgia diagnosis.
- Movie Group at LTS
- Lisa learning to drive a “straight drive” car.
- Lisa dusts and vacuums. Michael cleans the bathrooms.
- A poem for our 15th wedding anniversary.
Not an exhaustive list and some need context or, as a former boss would say, “Give me another sentence or two about that.” I think “significant” can be gleaned without all the details. Yes, my companion saw this before I published it.